Truth Tuesday: Spiders

You already know the state of my bathtub from my blog title, but today I have a true (gross) confession to make.

Our house seems to attract spiders, especially in the winter. They're big, brown, harmless things.

Spiderman and Captain America take on a tub-dwelling spider.

My girls were getting ready for a bath the other afternoon and we did our usual spider check. We were rewarded with one spider behind a Rescue Hero toy. I captured him alive and flushed him down the toilet (sorry, spider!).

The girls got in and we filled the bath with water, when Sophie started complaining. "There's something in the water! There's something in the water!"

She started pulling at long strands, which at first I thought were long hairs. But then I realized nobody in our house had hair THAT long.

And the color was strange. At some angles the strands looked black, at other angles, silver. And they were sticky.

Spider webs.

And then, horror of horrors, another spider came bobbing to the surface of the water. Already drowned, poor thing, but that saved me having to kill him.

I fished out more spider webs from the front of the tub.

They were tricky to remove because they were invisible until you removed them from the water.

Now we have to do a spider check AND a spider web check before we get in the tub.

And maybe I should clean my bathtub more often....

Truth Tuesday: The Charmed Life

In case you're tempted to think I'm living the charmed life over here....

I'm a soccer mom now. Officially. I have two kids in soccer, two in ballet, two in gymnastics.

Raising these wonderful, outgoing children requires a level of organizational skills I do not possess.

Case in point:

1) Time for ballet for Child #1, soccer for Child #2. Plan: Quick drop off of Child #1 at studio, followed by quick drop off of Child #2 at soccer field. Watch half of soccer game. Go fetch Child #1. Return to soccer game.
2) Cannot find soccer socks (five minutes until ballet)
3) Frantic searching
4) Child #1 announces that her mother (who, me?) forgot to sew the band on her new ballet shoes.
5) Frantic sewing
6) Knots in the thread
7) Thread breaks
8) If I could use curse words around my children, I would; replaced curse words with inarticulate mumblings
9) "Oh, well, never mind! We don't have the socks! Here're your shoes! Let's go!"
10) Check back of van for fold-out chairs for soccer game
11) Ensure all five children made it into the car and are buckled in
12) Drive madly down hill (five minutes late for ballet and counting)
12) Driving past the elementary school, Child #1says, "Mom, the back of our van is open."
13) Screech! of brakes. "Our what?"


Yep. I did that.

Moving on....

Feeding said wonderful, outgoing children also takes a certain set of (*ahem*) skills:

1) Drive to the grocery store
2) Pull into parking lot
3) "Shoot! Forgot my coupons!"
4) Drive home
5) Get coupons
6) Drive back to store
7) Retrieve children from vehicle, as well as shopping cart cover to protect seven-month-old from germs
8) While putting protective cover onto cart, I notice something slimy yellow smeared on it.
9) Glance down to find shiny yellow substance smeared on my shirt
10) Notice shiny yellow substance oozing from the sides of baby's diaper
11) Make decision only a professional mother can make:
LOGICAL POINT 1: The baby already has poop all over her.
LOGICAL POINT 2: So does the shopping cart cover.
LOGICAL POINT 3: My shirt? Oh well. I can cover it with my arm.
LOGICAL POINT 4: I have coupons.
LOGICAL POINT 5: I'm at the store.
LOGICAL POINT 6: I'm going shopping!

So, yeah, I grocery shopped covered in poop. It was a very hygienic day. 

How's your charmed life going?

Truth Tuesday: Boogertoes

I was feeding my baby yesterday

And playing with her toes, because baby toes are meant to be played with 

When I discovered something.

Quite a sizeable booger glued to her big toe.

Which makes me wonder:

1. Yes, I know she has recently discovered her feet. And I know she can get her foot up to her mouth. (Babies are flexible like that.) Perhaps she accidentally picked her nose with her toe?
2. OR, she had the foot up by her face and happened to sneeze?
3. OR, her two-year-old sister has been utilizing baby foot in place of tissue?

Do I look like the kind of baby who would pick my nose with my toes?

This might remain a mystery until the end of time. Any other explanations? Have you ever found boogers in unexpected places?

Truth Tuesday: I Drank Bugs

I'm always parched with thirst in the morning when I wake up.

So I've gotten in the habit of leaving a glass of water by my bed.

This morning I woke up and glugged my water. I was about half-way through my glass when I looked down....

And saw about six gnats floating in it.

I don't know how many bugs I drank.

Extra protein? Any other positive ways to spin this? Leave them in the comments.

And have a fantastic day!