The Dream

Anna didn't make a national team.

Which made her a little sad, but, you know, she's eight. Lots of time for getting even more awesome at gymnastics, right?

The amazing thing is this:

As we were walking together, alone, on the way to pick up Naomi from preschool, I asked her if it was worth it.

"All the summer testing meets, all the fundraising, all the two-a-day practices ... Do you want to keep doing this? I mean, I know you did your best down in Texas, so what if you go to testing every year for all three years and your best is never good enough? Will it be worth it?"

She didn't hesitate. "Yes!"

I took a deep breath. Okay. One step at a time. My mama brain so often wants to go into overdrive when I think about the future.

"Because, Mom," she went on, "if I keep working really hard, maybe next time my best will be the best."

Just a little reminder on a Monday morning for all of you out there pursuing a dream. xo

Back from Karolyi Ranch

We got back from Houston yesterday. What a fun trip we had! Anna did a great job testing, so now we're waiting a few weeks for the results. 

I don't have high expectations. I'm just glad she had fun, showed her best to the judges, and that we got to experience the Karolyi Ranch with our friends. What a cool place! 

Here are a few pictures:

Handstands at the Walk of Fame, Karolyi Ranch

Anna!

The girls and their coaches

Right before testing: Anna covered her face in sparkles, which is why she looks slightly alien-like. 

I also got to have dinner with my dear friend and critique partner, Kristin Rae (author of the YA, WISH YOU WERE ITALIAN). Her six-week-old baby, Layla, is soooo adorable! We had a blast and even conspired together over secret projects. (So excited!!) 

Cuties!!

Krista's cover! ...and Gymnastics News

Last week, my good buddy Krista revealed the cover for her gorgeous MG debut, THE SOUND OF LIFE AND EVERYTHING. 

I am in love with this cover! What do you think? I'm so excited for this book to come out. I got to read an early version, but I know Krista has worked on it a ton since then.

Here's the blurb from Goodreads:

Twelve-year-old Ella Mae Higbee is a sensible girl. She eats her vegetables and wants to be just like Sergeant Friday, her favorite character on Dragnet. So when her auntie Mildred starts spouting nonsense about a scientist who can bring her cousin back to life from blood on his dog tags, Ella Mae is skeptical—until he steps out of a bio-pod right before her eyes.

But the boy is not her cousin—he’s Japanese. And in California in the wake of World War II, the Japanese are still feared and despised. When her aunt refuses to take responsibility, Ella Mae and her Mama take him home instead. Determined to do what’s right by her new friend, Ella Mae teaches Takuma English and defends him from the reverend’s talk of H-E-double-toothpicks. But when his memories start to resurface, Ella Mae learns some shocking truths about her own family and more importantly, what it means to love. 

THE SOUND OF LIFE AND EVERYTHING will be out in May of next year. In the meantime, you can pre-order wherever books are sold.  

...

In other news, I leave with my daughter Anna for Texas on Friday so she can participate in National Gymnastics Testing at the Olympic Training Center. Exciting times! Please pray for us, that we have peace and safety in our journey, and that Anna stays healthy and uninjured for testing. THANK YOU!

Anna and her teammates. She's far right. 

Back to School (Alternate Title: AM I CRAZY?!)

My kids went back to school last week.

For a lot of people, kids back in school means a little more sanity for parents, but in our case life just gets crazier. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled about our new schedule this year. But I can't say it's an easy schedule. It's a crazy schedule. If I talk to anyone about it, they think I've gone off the deep end.

But that's what happens when you have a child with emotional needs that aren't being met in traditional school, another child who is in hyper gymnastics mode (more on that later), you're never home (because of child in hyper gymnastics mode), and neither is your significant other (football coach).

I have kids in four school districts this year. Not just four schools, but four DISTRICTS. You can stop laughing now.

I never knew I was a logistics person until I became a mom of older kids who all wanted to go in different directions. Now my life is ruled by logistics and schedule. I used to think of myself as a pretty free spirit. No longer. My days are strictly planned out without much wiggle room. That's okay, though. We're getting done what we need to get done. We're trying our best to meet everyone's needs. And so far, so good!

I didn't mean to write all this. I just meant to post a picture of my cute kids on their first day at school. So here they are:

(If you're interested in details: My oldest started at a school in the town where my eight-year-old does gymnastics. It's a great program where she can take online school for a couple classes and go to other classes in a physical classroom in the afternoon. More time with me, but not all day. My son is the only one still going to school in our town. My eight-year-old is doing online public school through Washington Virtual Academy, and my kindergartener is an hour bus ride away at a tiny school that meets only four days a week, where they wear uniform and have breakfast and lunch provided (and she loves it!). My three-year-old starts pre-school next week. Not sure if I'm ready for THAT! But it will give me writing time. Hopefully.)

The great news about gymnastics-child is that she is one of about one-hundred eight-year-olds from the whole country who qualified to go to Houston, Texas in October to try out for the national team. Squeeeee!

Pray for us! (Seriously.)

Confessions of a Crazy Gym Mom

Months and months ago the owner of my daughter's gym asked me to write up a flyer for gym parents about good parent behavior and not falling into the trap of being a "helicopter parent" (ie. parents who stay at all practices monitoring every detail of their child's progress, coaching from the sidelines, etc.)

I haven't written the flyer yet. 

I haven't written anything on that subject because I don't want to be a hypocrite.  

My daughter, Anna, is devoted to gymnastics, which is obvious from the twenty-hours-a-week she willingly puts into the sport. She's athletic and strong, maybe not the most athletic and the most strong, but she loves it and I never have to coerce her into going to practice. She's a hard-working kid and has a pretty determined personality for someone going into third grade.

When it comes to meets, Anna is pretty chill. She doesn't seem to get nervous and she enjoys herself. Yes, she'd like to do well, but if she doesn't do well, she shakes it off pretty quickly.

Now enter her mother (ME). The night before meets, I can hardly sleep. If I do watch her practices, I'm sitting there biting my fingers and saying pseudo-curse words in my head if she can't make her clear hip/kip/toe circle/jump to the high bar combination.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

My daughter is testing right now to see if she can qualify to go down to the National Training Center in Texas for national testing. The last couple days she's been struggling on beam and bar. I woke up this morning with visions of flawed beam skills dancing through my head.

AGAIN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

For the most part, I keep these thoughts to myself. I work on encouraging my daughter, not tearing her down. So, I'm not so worried about her emotional health as I am about my own.

I talked to my mom about this problem while I was visiting Hong Kong earlier in the year. I had to miss Anna's sectional meet (the score of which would dictate if she was going on to State). I knew from a text from my husband that she fell on beam, and that she didn't get her best score on floor, so I figured she was out of the running for State. And I felt miserable about it! (As it turns out, she did make it, and went on to have a pretty good State experience, but that's another story.) While I was struggling with misery, I asked my mom that same question: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why I am feeling this way about something I have no control over? Why can't I just let her go and have fun with gymnastics? Why do I, at least every couple weeks, have to fight back the monster of Crazy Gymnastics Mom that seems to want to take over my (usually-reasonable) body?

Part of me wonders if I can't be chill about this because we put in so much time. So many hours. Not only in the gym, but also in the car. We live a few towns away from her gym, so our mileage and gas bill are atrocious. Our family life has been turned upside down. I never considered home schooling, but now that Anna has this schedule, we have no other choice. So, part of me wonders, am I just trying to prove to myself that this was a good idea? If Anna does well in gymnastics, wins medals, goes to Texas for the national testing, does that somehow make all that sacrifice WORTH IT?

Hmm....

My mom gave me sage words of advice. She said something like, "This may be something you always struggle with, to have the right perspective. But you have to keep fighting the battle to have the right perspective and not let that wrong perspective win."

That's advice I should know how to follow. Believe me, I've had plenty of experience as an aspiring author with the ups and downs of pursuing a dream. It's often a struggle to have the correct attitude, to keep going even when the "prize" seems far away or even unattainable.

There are always other writers who are better, more brilliant, than you are. You want to cheer everyone on, but sometimes it's so discouraging when others are pulling ahead and you're left behind.

Anna's coach said something wise, and I remind myself of it every time I find myself in Crazy Gymnastics Mom mode. I heard him tell one little girl,  "You can't do gymnastics forever. When you grow up, you're not going to be able to do this stuff anymore, and the only thing that's going to be left is the character you built from doing it."

Amen.

This blog post is my pep talk. Not only to myself, but to all of you out there who are pursuing a dream, no matter what it is.

In the end, it's the journey that matters. That's where we build character. As a writer, I had to come to a place of peace. My dream may be to win the Newbery Medal someday, and that's a huge motivation, but I can't let it distract me from the joy I find in the journey. From daily writing. From reaching my smaller, more attainable goals. And doing the best I can with the talents (and responsibilities) God gave me.

I want the same for Anna -- and all my kids when they figure out what their BIG DREAM is. I want them to feel peace, to do it because they love it, to make sacrifices, to work REALLY, REALLY hard, not for the awards or the praise, but because they want to grow as people and make a difference in lives around them.

I feel better now. I may be able to sleep tonight ... and wake up to wrestle with these emotions all over again tomorrow.