Monday, February 7, 2011

Blogfest Time: First Line

How can it be February 7 already!?

February 7 is the first day of  the It was a Dark and Stormy Blogfest Contest. Yippee!

And to participate, I am obediently posting the first line from my YA WiP, working title Seagull Rising.

Give me a well-sharpened knife.


That's it. That's my first line.

Comments? Suggestions? Thoughts? All constructive criticism is welcome in the comments below.

Thanks in advance - and good luck to all!

25 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing, Amy! Is this manuscript the former LONG FLIGHT HOME? If so, I LOVE the new title, and I think this first line works perfectly for the MC's character.

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  2. Unlike the first commenter, I know nothing about the manuscript. I'm certainly curious as to why someone would need a well-sharpened knife, however.

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  3. I don't know anything about this WiP either, but this first line has me really interested in what's going to follow :) Great job and thanks for sharing!

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  4. I know nothing about your WIP but sharp knives and what you're going to do with them is what counts. Love it.

    Incidentally, this weekend we watched an old Hindi movie in which a knife-sharpener is the love interest. They don't make movies like that any more. Great plot ...

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  5. Short and yet powerful. Mystery, maybe a little horror, voice. Winning combination...good job!

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  6. Okay. But is it dialogue or inner monologue? If it's inner monologue, it doesn't feel like a complete thought. If it's dialogue, be careful, a lot of critics advise against that.

    :)

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  7. Definitely a sentence to intrigue me. I don't know anything about your novel, so why the character would want a sharpened knife will keep me reading.

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  8. I love the title and the in-your-face-ness of the first line. It's bold and it works!

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  9. Oh, wow, I gasped! That means I would definitely stick around to read the rest!

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  10. Nice job, Amy! Bold, direct, and has my curiosity antenna up! =)

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  11. I like its brevity, but it needs more.
    There is conflict, but to me feels cut of short(forgive the pun) or dropped.
    Perhaps you could link your second line with a colon/semi-colon?

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  12. I don't know anything about your wip, but OMGoodness....What an awesome first line!!!!!

    LOVE IT!

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  13. I like it. I'd like to have a little more - but it definitely grabs my attention!

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  14. I like it. It's short and leaves me wanting to know the purpose of the knife.

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  15. I love introducing tension before anything else. I don't know the character/setting/ plot or anything. All I know there is tension and that is all I need to know I will like it!

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  16. Great hook, but I agree that it feels cut, like an incomplete thought. I expected 'give me a well sharpened knife and...' unless this is a line of dialogue, then it does stand on its own.

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  17. I love the first line. I wish this was a first paragraph contest;)It's an attention grabber for sure!

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  18. Is it "Give me a well-sharpened knife. I need to slice these tomatoes". Or, is it "Give me a well-sharpened knife. I need to make a x, and suck the poison out of this rattlesnake bite". Or, "Give me a well-sharpened knife. I need to pry open this mysterious box". Oh, the agony!
    Aunt Sandi :)

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  19. I love it! Short and to the point (so to speak!). Whatever the second sentence is, this one pulls you to it with energy. Nicely done!

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  20. I think it's terrific, and I'd continue reading in a heartbeat. But if you added another phrase to deepen it, it might be even better and more dramatic. But only because you seem to be very good at this.

    Well done! Good luck.

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  21. Great first line. I'm your newest follower.
    bethfred.com

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  22. Is this spoken dialog? I think I am totally hooked, but if it is dialog I would request quotation marks.

    Good luck!
    Corinne

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  23. OOH..... how THAT arouses your curiosity!!! I would read on and on if I could ;) Love it!

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