Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Look

I'm in the last quarter of my second draft of the WiP. It's going well most of the time, but I'm realizing something.

I care WAY too much about what my characters are looking at.

Every few sentences, I'm finding this:

She raised her gaze to his face.....

He glanced over at her.....

She looked up.....

He stared down at his fingers....

She watched the sky melt to indigo....

Okay, these are not ACTUAL quotes from my WiP, but you get the point. I have an obsession with WHAT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT and it's driving me crazy!

Rant over. Back to editing.


  1. I read your post out loud, and my kids giggled. Good luck sifting through those descriptions.

  2. Thanks, Myrna! I laughed too when I realized how much my characters were looking around. Weird obsession!! I'm glad your kids enjoyed it. :)

  3. Common problem! You're not the only one if it makes you feel any better. I see this in a lot of work I edit.

  4. Esther VanderlaanMay 12, 2010 at 5:12 AM

    It's ok. Don't worry.

  5. I do this too. I'm writing in first person POV, so I can just say "The sky melted into indigo", but I've found all kinds of sensory verbs- I smelled, I touched, I felt, I heard. It's been a chore cutting those, but it's worth it to remove that distance between the reader and the experience.

  6. love the indigo sky image. and, I have something similar, only it is w/ my characters feet. they shuffle, kick, scuff their shoe, walk, tromp, skip.

    it can be too much and I always end up chopping 90% of it. actually, I don't even realize I'm doing it until I go back in revisions.

  7. Guilty, too. Thanks for reminding me to keep an eye out for those pesky phrases.

  8. Ha ha ha! I have the same problem. :-)

  9. Thanks, ladies. I feel better. Ah, the balm of knowing one is not alone! :)

    Esther, are you the Esther Vanderlaan from China? If you are -- email me! I want to know how you're doing!!


  10. Esther VanderlaanMay 13, 2010 at 6:16 AM

    I am the Esther Vanderlaan from China... and I did e-mail you! I'm doing well.


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