Thursday, June 3, 2010

Sleep Patterns

Four a.m. comes too early.

But my body clock is set to wake. No matter what time I go to sleep.

Thanks, Sophie.

Either I hear her cry or, if I'm in too deep a sleep, Gabe brings her in. I hear her feet pad across the carpet. I reach down and pull her into our big bed. She curls up into me and goes back to sleep.

But I lie awake, until the Dashingly Handsome Sidekick's alarm goes off.

Then I roll over and lie awake in the other direction.

Many days now, Olivia will also make her way into our room with her pillow and curl up across the foot of our bed. I keep my knees up tight so I won't accidentally kick her.

By the time I finally drift back to sleep, my alarm's going off and it's time to peel myself out of bed.

But I'm weary. I know these days will pass. There will come a day when Sophie doesn't wake up at four, when Olivia doesn't lie across the foot of my bed, when I can sleep straight through and not have endless morning hours of THINKING.

Then again, there are gifts: Snuggling close to my baby. Listening to my older daughter breathing. And the thoughts. It's good to have time to think in the quiet and stillness. And this morning, when I returned Sophie to her crib, I saw the sunrise.

I just wish the next day I weren't so tired. That's what I won't miss. 


  1. Mine are all sleepingin their own beds, but Jojo has started waking up to go potty around two. I'm proud of him, but he needs help to get the night-time diaper off. I miss that sleep, too. Have fun!

  2. it is a tender and precious time. it is also challenging. but, you are right to say you will miss it.

    i do.

  3. Kelly, we still have to get my son up in the night to take him to the bathroom and he's six and a half! And for the last three nights he has STILL we the bed. Poor kid. Not his fault -- just genetics.

    Tess, thanks for the confirmation that people with slightly older kids *do* miss these times! I'm sure I'll find other reasons not to sleep when my kids are older. ha ha!! But I won't have them to snuggle with anymore. *sniff sniff* Thanks for helping me be grateful!


  4. After my parents left in early April, I finally said, "OK Sam, the time has come for Mommy to sleep through the night." (I think it's been about seven years and I could count on one hand the number of times I didn't get up once in the night.) And he's doing it now...he's sleeping all the way through without finding his way into our bed. I'm sad though as I really didn't mind his snuggly body next to mine. But teaching wears me out and it sure is nice to get a full night's sleep.
    Knowing the tug in your heart,

  5. Rachel! I'm soooo glad to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by my blog. It's so nice to know I'm not alone in this endeavor for more sleep. I slept well last night, though, for the record. I woke up this morning and heard angels singing.... :)

    Love you,

  6. I love your family names-- Sophie, Olivia and Dashingly Handsome Sidekick. Awesome!