I've been working on a literary short story, "The Tiffin Box," on and off for over a year. I'm getting ready to submit it to magazines, but I thought I'd play my own little game of "Are You Hooked?" before I take the plunge.
I'll post my first paragraph below and I'd love your feedback. Tell me if you like it or if you don't, if you'd keep reading or if you wouldn't, or any edits you would make. I'll take any and all critique very gratefully!
From the top of a boulder, Sylvie stared into a sea that appeared in the deceptive sunlight to be filled with jewels. A solitary, strange thought ran a pattern through her mind—if I jumped, if I jumped, if I jumped … what a beautiful way to die.
Thank you for taking the time. I'm indebted to you!