WARNING: Do not attempt the following at home.
|Moments before The Incident|
Last week my dad and I were in the living room talking. I was sprawled on the floor taking pictures of my sweet baby girl, when all of a sudden--
Choke, cough, splutter!
"Oh my gosh, she's choking on a bead!" I screamed. "She's choking on a bead!"
I swiped the inside of her mouth with my finger. She gagged one more time and then blinked at me as if to say, "What are you so upset about, Mom?"
I pryed Gabe's good-behavior bracelet out of her fist and counted the beads on it. The latch, which I thought was pretty secure (or I wouldn't have let her play with the thing in the first place!) had come open and there were definitely some beads missing.
But then I remembered seeing one on the kitchen floor the day before. And then one of my children found another one under the sofa ...
My math skills aren't so good, but I think that means:
So, just one bead.
One missing bead.
Step 1: Self blame
Step 2: Call the family doctor-- in this case, my father-in-law
He assured me if she wasn't coughing, then she'd probably swallowed it. "Just monitor her diapers and make sure it comes out the other end."
It did. The next morning.
I almost took a picture, but then decided not to.
I paraded the diaper around the house, however, to show everybody. I'm kind of used to baby poop, so I wasn't expecting the looks of disgust that greeted me when I showed off the miraculous bead.
"Well, Gabe," I told my seven-year-old son, "it wasn't damaged at all. I could wash it and put it back on your bracelet."
One horrified look was enough to convince me this was not something the boy wanted.
So the bead went in the trash.
The baby did not choke to death.
And even though I'm a laid-back mother of five
I LEARNED MY LESSON.