When my two big kids got out of the minivan to cross the road to school, I called, "Don't forget to wave at me when you cross the street!"
Brandon Heath's Love Never Fails was playing on the radio.
I pulled forward to the cross walk and waved at my kids, but they forgot to look at me or wave back. As they opened the school door and went inside, I got all choked up.
All I could think was: They're forgetting their mother already!
I remembered being a little girl on the school bus in Hong Kong. Sometimes I'd get so wrapped up in the excitement of seeing my friends that I'd forget to wave to my mother. But I always, always realized it when she was out of sight. I remember missing her so intensely and feeling so conscience stricken about forgetting that I'd actually cry on the school bus.
Remembering that just made me homesick, so that as I was driving home I shed tears in the minivan. Feeling so far away from my mommy. Grieving how quickly my babies are growing up.
Thankfully I came home to snuggle time and kisses from my little girls. That helped.
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Oh, Amy, I almost started crying myself, reading this. I'm already fearing the first day of kindergarten for my two-year-old, because I very well might sob:(
ReplyDeleteBut the life of a mother, it occurred to me once, is just a series of bigger and bigger separations from our children. It starts out when they're born, when we stop sharing the same physical space. Then they move from the bassinet in the master bedroom to the crib down the hall. Then it's off to kindergarten. Then college. Then the rest of their lives.
And yet we wouldn't have it any other way, would we? Because how else would they grow?
Very true, Krista. It just reminds me to enjoy my kids every day, because even the fact that I get to drive them to school won't last forever! Or that they're still willing to kiss me when they get out of the van....
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