It's here! It's here! Below is my entry, as originally written, all typos included. Brace yourselves. And bear with me. I was fifteen. (And check out the bottom of the post for other participants!)
|Blast from the past: my little brother and me, circa 1992.|
I'm feeling sorta depressed, but I'm trying not to show it. I'm not feeling really depressed, nor do I show that I'm depressed. In fact, I don't know what I'm feeling--I've never felt this way before.
Yesterday was Saturday and as always I had a hope that maybe Sam would ask me out (he probably never will and I'm not sure I want him to--but I'm always rehearsing what I'll say if he does.) My hopes expanded when I saw him write on a piece of paper in Harveys-- I (heart) _ _ _! (My name is Amy so that's why I had hope.) At the same time I was racking my brain for girls names that had three letters in them. (By the way, I could only think of my name and the name JOY, but I'm sure there's many more.)
We got to Jack n' the Box (my favourite fast food) and Sarah Crutchfield sat across from me. (It was Sam's b'day on Wednesday and he got the best present for him-- 2 more school records and the placing of 10th in the colony, or something like that.) All of a sudden she says: "Sam got the best present for his birthday..." I was expecting her to say that he broke two school records, etc, but she said instead: "he got a girlfriend for his birthday." My heart jumped. I smiled at him as cheerily as possible and changed the subject.
Oh, I forgot. We were sitting in Harveys and listening to these rappers called Commission or something and I saw that Sam had something written on his hand. (It said, "Will you go with me?" -- I think) Danny got the pen and added "out" before "with" and "me." I said, "What does it say?" and Sam showed me. Then Danny said, "It's not for you" and I said, "Phew!" and Danny said, "That's not very nice." I feel bad and confused. I don't know what to think.
How Sarah Crutchfield ever found out that Sam got a girlfriend for his present before I knew is beyond me - unless this "woman" goes to Sha Tin. I thought Sam and I were AT LEAST friends-- so why didn't he tell me he has a girlfriend? Why would Sarah find out before me? I don't understand this at all!! I'm sorta depressed for two reasons: 1) because Sam is going out with someone else and didn't even tell me, 2) I'm so confused ... I don't know what's going on!!
I'm not really madly in love with Sam -- don't get me wrong -- and we still walk home together and talk a lot ... nothing has changed, except my knowledge.
He doesn't come to my church (evening ECC) anymore ... that's the only change.
I'm going to take a shower -- all this talk has been reminding me of all sorts of stupid things - and is making me depressed.
Lots of love,
P.S. Tina Rae is going out with Jimmy.
P.S.S. :) Naomi in Stand Up for God is really sweet. We were both watching and talking yesterday at basketball. She's really sweet. :)
Now this could be really embarrassing because I'm friends with all the people mentioned in this diary entry on Facebook. But enough time has passed for this not to be embarrassing anymore, right? RIGHT?
Here are all the other brave souls participating today! Have fun hopping, everyone!